Networking Nuggets

Hi I'm Keith and welcome to Networking Nuggets. Small talk has a bit of a reputation problem. People say things like I hate small talk or it just feels fake or I just want to get to the point and I understand why because a lot of small talk feels like well going through the motions talking about the weather, the traffic, how busy things are, whether the coffee's any good. Do these biscuits taste a bit stale to you? And it can all feel a bit pointless but here's the thing small talk isn't the problem, bad small talk is.

Because when small talk is done well it's not small at all. It's a starting point, it's the warm up, it's the thing that helps people relax and ease into a conversation. Because the truth is that people don't go from hello to deep meaningful conversation in one breath. They ease into it and small talk is the breath that allows that to happen. The issue is that most people default to the same safe questions.

What do you do? How's business at the moment? And while those questions aren't wrong indeed I've been known to use them myself they don't really go anywhere. They keep the conversation just there at the surface. So instead of trying to skip small talk upgrade it.

Ask things that are easy to answer or hopefully easy to answer but just that bit more interesting. For example, so what's been the highlight of your week? Or have you been to this event before? Or so what do you enjoy outside of work? And yes, even have you got any pets?

Because something interesting happens when you ask questions like that. People change, the energy shifts, they open up, they engage more. And that pets question have you got any pets? Even if the person doesn't either typically they'll answer with no I don't now but I used to have a great dog when I was younger or no I don't but my boyfriend's got a cat and it's lovely. It just gets that conversation going and why it works is because once you've moved the conversation from polite exchange to human interaction well then that's where the connection starts.

So the goal of small talk isn't to impress people it's to make people comfortable to create a space where a real conversation can begin. So next time you find yourself thinking I hate small talk don't try to skip it try to use it properly because every meaningful relationship you'll ever build will start with small talk somewhere. If you found this week's episode useful make sure you follow or subscribe and if you want more check out Networking Nuggets on LinkedIn it's my weekly newsletter where I share deeper insights every Wednesday. Until next time keep connecting. Networking Nuggets is a Think of Something Publishing production.